Akatsuki Christmas
by Incognito77
Summary: What would the Akatsuki do if they found the man who put them on the "Naughy List" when they were looking forward to a fun Christmas. RATED T for death but all my friends who read it said it was funny. R&R R&R R&R Read and Review pepole


**The Akatsuki Christmas**

The once elegant building that stood in the center of the barren ice land had been reduced to a pile of smoldering ashes. The clear white snow of the north pole had been dyed red by the blood of the massacred elves and reindeer. Inside the now destroyed building lay the dead bodies of an old plump man, who's cheeks had lost their jolly red color and an old scrawny women who clung to the man even in death. Amongst the carnage stood ten figures dressed in black cloaks which were dressed in the blood of there victims…

___________________________________Four Hours Earlier___________________________________

The long wreath like thing was entwined with bright yellow ribbons that ran across the white walls of the living room. Right beneath the wreath stood a fireplace on the opposite wall of the doorway which held no door. There also stood a bare tree that held no ornaments.

There was a clicking at the front door allowing it to open. From the Iceland outside came ten figures wearing black cloaks decorated with several red clouds. Each made there way towards the decorated room carrying a bag with who knows what inside.

The light from the fire, which one of the ten mysterious figures started, illuminated the room chasing away the darkness of the night that had hung over the room like a blanket.

"let's start decorating the tree," the blue haired girl said as she set the bags she was holding on the ground.

The blue haired woman grabbed a clear glass ball from the bag. She removed the gold cap and stuffed a piece of paper inside, once she placed her hands on the ornament the purple paper inside changed shape and formed an origami butterfly.

The others had been working on there own ornaments. Some painted their ornaments like the masked man who painted his now orange orb to match his mask. Another with black hair painted black markings on a red ball to match his eyes. The shark like man painted his to represent the ocean. The orange haired man painted clouds that matched his cloak on a black ball.

Some used wood to make their creations like the gray haired man who carved out a circle with an upside down triangle inside, along with a string tied to the top. The other was a red haired kid who created puppets inside the ornaments just like a ship in a bottle.

The blond made clay like creatures. All of them made things that would easily distinguish them from other ninjas. The plant like man had several pots of Venus fly traps surrounding the tree. Another masked man made voodoo like dolls from the strings that protruded from his body.

It had been an hour and now everyone had created several ornaments, "now that is art," the red haired man said pointing towards the blue haired girls ornaments."

The blonde placed his clay bird on a branch of the tree "Yes but Sasori my man art is a bang," then the bird blew up and a single spark landed on the tree.

"Deidara you idiot," the orange haired said "Kisame put the fire out."

"got it," the fish like man said, now known as Kisame created several hand signs and put out the fire. _**(the spark burned of the tip of the branch before Kisame put it out.)**_

"you could've killed the tree," the blue haired woman complained.

"sorry Konan," Deidara said apologetically.

"no more explosions," the masked man said.

"I said I'm sorry," deidara defended.

"just drop it Kakuzu," the gray haired man said.

"you want to start a fight Hidan," Kakuzu barked.

"stop them Itachi," the man with the orange man said pleadingly.

Itachi formed the ram seal and said "Sharingan," everyone froze except the masked man, plant man, and of course itachi.

"ok you can let them go now," the plant man said.

"ok Zetsu," itachi released his genjutsu.

"oh I got something for everyone," the masked man ran out of the room.

"what's up with Tobi," deidara asked.

"I don't know but that's how he always is," Kisame said.

"I'm back," tobi shouted with joy. Everyone looked at tobi and saw him wearing a red cloak were the edges of the neck, sleeves, bottom, and openings of the cloak were covered with white fluff.

"so what did you bring," Sasori asked.

Tobi gave everyone a small box with green wrapping paper and a red bow on top. All the men opened there boxes to reveal a cloak similar to tobi's, all except konan. She held up the outfit to her chest. It was a one piece that would reveal a lot of skin if she actually wore it. "tobi," konan's face grew red with anger.

"it was a joke,only a joke," tobi said as f he were a child "here you go."

Konan eyed the box suspiciously but then took the new cloak out of the box which was still in Tobi's hands. "Merry Christmas," tobi shouted "eve," he whispered sadly.

'_Ding Dong' _came the sound of the doorbell "I'll get it," the orange haired one announced.

"I'll come with you Pein," Konan said, and followed pein past the doorway then to the front door.

Pein opened the door to reveal a postman "hello what can I do for you."

"well it seems that this residence has ten letters returned from the north pole, all of them have been stamped naughty." the postman hands pein the letters after saying his final words of the day, "Merry Christmas."

Pein shut the door envelops in hand and went back to the awaiting group followed by Konan.

"so what happened," everyone asked with great curiosity.

"our letters were returned," Konan took the letters from pein and passed them back.

"but Tobi's a good boy," tobi said and was almost in tears once he saw the naughty stamp across his letter.

"we have to do something about this," came a voice from the back of the room.

"Zetsu's right." hidan jumped up from his spot on the floor.

"to the north pole," everyone shouted.

"but how are we going to get there," tobi sniffled.

"I know a transportation jutsu," pein announced "but it will take an hour to arrive at our destination and it only works twice."

"well what are we waiting for," Deidara said anxiously.

Konan was not as excited she looked over at the bare tree sadly. "what is it Konan," pein asked after placing his hand on her shoulder.

Pein looked at the tree "we didn't get to finish our decorating," Konan said sadly.

"we will once we return," pein assured her.

They all sat in a circle for an hour till they arrived in the north pole. They saw the elegant building in the center of the frozen wasteland.

"here we are," pein said.

"it's time to make the fat man sing," Itachi threatened.

They all walked over to the tall building "hello what can I do for you," the large man said.

"we would like to talk to you inside," Zetsu said.

"sure come in come in," the fat man said.

"after a minute of walking they arrived at the large workshop. The man opened the door and invited the group inside. "so what did you want to talk about,' the man asked.

"hello Santa Claus," tobi announced with great joy.

"why are we on the naughty list," Sasori asked.

"you have killed countless people why should I put you on the nice list," santa clause chuckled.

"I've had it," pein exploded he pulled out a kunai and began to stab Mr. Clause.

Pein kept stabbing till santa claus fell to the floor realizing that stabbing would have no more effect than the last dozen strikes.

"my turn, my turn," Tobi shouted as he began to stab santa but was pushed aside by Deidara.

"no it's my turn," Deidara announced and placed an explosive spider on the fat belly.

Santa's red jacket was now dyed black from the soot that came from the explosion. Soon everyone had a chance to attack Santa Claus. Itachi used his Sharingan, Kisame his sword, Konan her paper, the rest used kunai till the fat man breathed no more.

"My religion won't allow me to leave anyone alive so I'm off," Hidan said.

"I don't think he has a bounty on his head so I…" Kakuzu was interrupted by a scream.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," an old feeble woman yelled at the site of the dead santa claus.

"it's miss claus," tobi shouted.

Next thing the women knew there was a kunai protruding from her chest. She lay dead next to her husband "burn this place to the ground Itachi," pein ordered.

Itachi obeyed and the entire building went down in a glory of flames. Hidan returned after killing all the animals and little men in green clothes that we refer to as elves.

"let's go," pein said and after an hour of what looked like meditation they returned to their apartment, right in front of the bare tree.

"let's finish decorating the tree," Konan said.

"sure," everybody said except tobi who said "tobi is a good boy, he helped kill bad santa," instead.

After the Akatsuki finished decorating the tree they retreated to their beds awaiting Christmas morning.

Some say Santa never existed but they don't know what really happened, they don't know the truth. Santa claus did exist until he made enemies of the Akatsuki causing his untimely death. Now the parents of the children who believe in santa claus pretend to be him by placing presents under the Christmas tree. To this day the story constantly changes but only a few know the true story…or do they.

* * *

Ok now if you have any questions about the story cause I know some parts are confusing just ask and I will tell you. But first I will explain one thing that my friend brought to my attention at the end it says they are waiting for Christmas, they really are waiting for Christmas not Santa Claus. Also my same friend wrote the "or do they" I loved it so much I added it.

R&R


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